Stupid Cupid
by SandXDemonX13
Summary: Being a Cupid, especially one from the Akatsuki division, wasn't an easy job, especially when your partner retires from field duty the week of your biggest case and you get stuck training some utter idiot in the ways of Cupids. So what happened really wasn't Deidara's fault, but the punishment is his. Banishment until the problem is fixed...yeah, like that'll ever happen. AUPreview


Hello all, I would like to start out by saying that I would appreciate it if everyone would **READ THIS FIRST** because I've got a few things to say, about this and my other stories. Firstly, this is just a preview of this, which I'm thinking will maybe just end up being a one-shot, but who knows? But I wanted to see about the feedback I'd get from you all. Secondly, I know I have been gone a long time without really putting out any updates on my old stuff. I've been having a really tough few years and have lost any and all inspiration to write except for a few moments when I can actually get something out. So I really am sorry, I'm gonna try and do better. I've got a new computer and I'm feeling slightly more motivated, so I'm going to try and finish up some half finished chapters of my older fics and try and post them soon. No promises, but I'll try.

Anyway, in the mean time, I had this idea after seeing a prompt and thought I would give it a shot since it inspired me, background, which will be explained in greater detail later, is this, Deidara and our other Akatsuki members are Cupids. You got it right, arrow shooting, love angels, except most of them are pretty crabby about their jobs. Anywho, this is a total AU/AR story and just something completely silly and new for me, but I like the idea and I hope you guys do to!

**This is where you guys come** **in**, because I actually would like your opinion on something! I'm not sure what pairing I wanna go for, or even if I should do one at all! But I feel there could be a little love story in the making, at least in my head. Right now I'm thinking like mainly, Deidara/Naruto with like a side of Itachi/Sasuke? So what do you guys think? Send me your thoughts so I can take them into consideration! I want to hear from all of you! If you don't wanna send in a review with your opinion then by all means, my PM box is absolutely ALWAYS open to anyone and everyone!

Okay! Well let's get this going then, keep in mind **THIS IS JUST A PREVIEW** of things to come! So if you like it, let me know! If you have ideas, let me know! Just let me know everything! I will appreciate it so much!

And so you know, this is really mainly just rated for language at this point...because Deidara has such foul language! Anyway, happy reading!

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**Stupid Cupid**

**PREVIEW**

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Staring was the most that he could do, breath caught in his throat as he hoped what he had just witnessed hadn't _actually_ happened. No, no, of course it _couldn't_ have. This was their – _his_ – biggest job, and they – the fucking _new guy_ – could _not_ have screwed this up so royally. So he stared for a moment longer before finally letting out a choked breath, eyes closing in stunned disbelief. The squeaks emanating from that fucking new guy were not helping him to imagine the way this _should_ have gone.

"Uuummm… Deidara—"

"_Don't_, Tobi, just…" he held his hand up and took another breath, "Just _don't_."

Thankfully the younger man did shut his mouth, but he had done enough damage with just those two words. Their orders had been clear, to make sure, _absolutely sure_, that this…this crush, this "perversion" – that was how the boss had described it, not really how he would though – wouldn't continue. Simple job, they already knew the person they were going to be setting the boy up with, so what could have been any _easier_?

Except, oh, wait, _that's right_! Biggest case of his life and his partner decides that that is the week he's calling it quits for field duty, thinks being behind a desk would be "better for him at his age."

"For Christ's sake, Sasori…" The man wasn't even that old!

He began pacing the rooftop he and his new partner were standing on. He was only supposed to be training the little brat, though why _he_ was the one training the Cupid-to-be he didn't rightly know, but he had a sneaking suspicion that when Zetsu had given him the job – the one that lined up just so very _nicely_ with his big assignment – that the man…plant…_thing_ had had other things on his mind, namely ways to ruin his rising career.

Well boy, had the man done _wonderfully_ at fucking up any chance he had had at even getting remotely near a promotion.

"Uh, it isn't that bad, yeah?"

Deidara looked up at the dark haired man cowering in a corner on the rooftop, throwing a glance down at the ground, where the person they – no, _he_, not _they_ – had struck was now falling under the beginning of their spell. He had a moment of silent astonishment in face of the question, of the utter innocence behind it. How…just _how_ could one person be so…

Zetsu had to have _known_, right? There was no way that he had just stumbled upon such a bumbling failure by chance… No, no. This _was_ Zetsu, he was sure but he spared Tobi another look, questioning his own reasoning for just another second, at least until a voice sounded in his ear.

"Mission status?"

The tone of voice was humorous and Deidara cursed quietly before bringing up his wrist to talk into the speaker attached to the small watch he wore.

"Stop fucking smiling, Kisame!" he immediately declared, blatantly ignoring the question that had been posed to him, and in that instance Deidara would swear he could actually _see_ the sharp-toothed grin that he knew had spread wide across the blue-skinned freak's face at his words.

"Oooh, Deidara," he drawled slowly, voice gratingly harsh to Deidara's ears, "You know me so well, don't you? But do tell…how is everything going on your end?"

"You do actually realize that I was assigned to train this utter..." he glanced up at Tobi who was staring at him and then turned and walked a few feet away before continuing more quietly, "Fucking idiot, right, un?"

Kisame chuckled quietly.

"And during my case, _this_ case, the biggest case of my entire _career_!"

"I take it that things aren't going as planned then?" Kisame made a tutting sound before laughing again, though he lowered his voice after a moment and continued, "You know… If you rather just get rid of the kid before you finish the job then I promise not to tell, cross my _heart_."

Deidara let out a huff of laughter.

"You don't have a heart," it was said offhandedly as he looked back at Tobi. This wasn't the first time that Kisame had insinuated that they off one of the newbies, but this was the first time that anyone had actually come close to agreeing with him.

"Wouldn't do us much good regardless," he went on, "What use is there killing the little shit now, un?"

A hum buzzed through the line and rang in his head.

"That bad?"

Deidara rolled his eyes, "Try exact fucking _opposite_ of what we – or should I say _I_ – was trying to accomplish, then maybe you'll be somewhere near the realm of how _bad_ it actually is!"

Another hum, then silence for a moment. Deidara just stood still, staring off at the cloudless sky above him, already knowing what was going to be coming to him.

"He—"

"—Won't be happy, I know, I know! But what the fuck was I supposed to do! I don't even know why he was placed with _me_!"

Kisame sighed through the line, "I wouldn't worry about that now. The report has been sent, He'll want to see you, so I suggest you two return to base."

Deidara shook his head but gave Kisame an affirmative before the call was disconnected.

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A/N: And there you go! Remember **THIS IS ONLY A PREVIEW**! So, even now, nothing is really set in stone, at least pairing and absolute story wise! So please, please, send me your thoughts, your ideas! I would really love to hear from any of you! Thanks!

SandXDemonX13

TTYFTDS


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